This post is more for my single friends! But maybe you cool people who are in love can learn something too(;
Recently, I’ve been on this dating site called mutual. It’s basically tinder for members of the church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. At first I was way skeptical to get on this but considering I’m going to cosmetology school instead of a big college, I don’t have the chance to meet new boys. So I’ve been going on tons of dates, some have been fun and some... well, not so much. There are so many cute, and sweet boys on this site... some of them are definitely frogs that are not so nice, but for the most part I’ve had an okay experience. I’ve learned so much about what I want in a guy and I truly don’t have bitter feelings towards any of the past guys I’ve dated even if I ended up getting hurt because I’ve learned a lot. I’m truly thankful. Now, at first this was just a way for me to get to know people, I didn’t want a relationship but as the holiday season comes around and I see more and more engagements, couples all cuddled up, and lots of dates to see Christmas lights, I’ve found myself DESPERATELY trying to find one person to date. Well let me tell ya, I’ve had the worst luck with dating so far. I can somehow never get a guy to stay. This has made it super easy for me to beat myself up and think “what in the world is wrong with me?” As I’ve been trying to figure this out and trying to figure out why guys don’t freaking like me, it hit me. I’m trying too hard. I’m telling myself that I’m not happy without a man and that is so so so so wrong! Yes, being with someone is nice and you feel safe, and comfort, but how can you possibly be with someone or even date for that matter if you don’t love yourself?! Truth is, I thought I was there. I thought I had fully loved myself and so I said “alright God, I’m ready for you to send me a man! I love myself enough now so this lesson can be done.” Hahaha.... well, for whatever reason, it’s not my time to be in a romantic relationship. It’s my time to be in a relationship with myself. I’ve come to terms with it and I’ve realized that hey, just because everyone else is getting together this season doesn’t mean I have to too. I have my wonderful family, friends and pets and myself. And that’s more than a lot of people can say, so I am very grateful. I know that a lot of my posts are about self love but I look around me and see that girls/guys are struggling with the same thing! No one wants to be single, especially during the holidays but sometimes you just have to accept where you are at this point in life and accommodate to what’s happening. I’ve always been one of those people who thinks way far into the future when really, I just need to focus on right now. We only have one chance to live this whole life thing. So live where you are RIGHT NOW. Feel the pain, the sorrow, the sadness and anger because you won’t get it again. Life is about experiencing everything there is to offer. So experience it all and hold onto the good times. When you look back after you’ve passed on from this life, you’ll be so thankful that you lived through the good AND the bad times, and as a matter in fact you’ll see that the bad was when you learned the most. I only get to be 18 for a few more weeks so I’m going to make the most of it... and most importantly I’m going to make my 19th year, the year all about ME. I know what some of you are thinking “seriously?! You’re eighteen! It’s fine to be single” and look I know, I know, I get it. But with someone who has anxiety I don’t look at it as being single just right now, I stress that I’m going to be alone forever. I have to bring myself back a lot and realize that some thoughts just aren’t true. I also often have to tell myself that I need to focus on the right now, which is anxiety’s worst nightmare! Haha. Anyways.... So, here’s my plan to love myself a little better this holiday season.... well every season really. * give myself time everyday to do what I love to do. Sometimes I get so busy with dating, school, and work that I forget to have me time. * Gratitude journal (every morning. It helps you start off the day positively) * A journal to write one thing you like about yourself in every morning as well. Or at night if you don’t have time. * Organize your room, de-clutter, get your life in order! Haha * Exercise is key🔑 * Be aware of your thoughts. Anytime you compare or criticize yourself STOP IT and replace it with something kind. * Smile & laugh more Thank you for everyone who read this post! I hope and pray that we can all love ourselves and not get down on ourselves about being single this holiday season because there is a lot more to it than having significant others. Have a fantastic day! “If you’re not happy single, you won’t be happy taken. Happiness comes from within, not from men. (Women if you’re a guy)” Xoxo, Imperfectly Blonde Oh and p.s. for you lovely couples, I’m happy for you!!(;